Freak - Molly Sandén

by Benjamin O'Loughlin

The Experience: Save me. The enemy is inside of me... You can fight the world. But fighting your own fears, doubts and depression is a much harder battle...

Music video: Freak follows a young crippled ballet student - Sandén herself? - as she spirals down into despair, rejected by her fellow students, and by her own reflection in the mirror. She finally gives up on her dream, and throws her music box into the same lake where her lonely adult self has also gone, running from the same demons. But the adult Molly rediscovers the dream, and brings it back to her younger self. The video uses borderline elements, like nudity, but in an artistic discreet way that isn't voyeuristic or flaunting like Wrecking Ball. In Freak, those fleeting moments symbolize the helplessness and vulnerability that permeates the song, and only gives way to triumph when Molly heads for the stage at the very end. She's not a star ballet dancer, but she a star - her way.

The Meaning of Freak: Wish I was someone else. Freak showcases two types of insecurity: the pain of exclusion, and the suffering of doubting yourself. The one thing that everyone needs is love. And the worst tragedy is when no, not even yourself, loves you. When no one answers your plea for love. Love me, can you even love at all. Show me, show me what I ought to know. Mirror, mirror mirror on the wall tell me, tell me that I'm beautiful.

Ask yourself: What is your beauty based on? Is everyone beautiful? Loved?

LYRICS:

Am I alone with the thoughts that I have?
I'm afraid that I'm scared of myself
Am I the only one to doubt who I am?
Wish I was someone else

Everytime I try to swim, it pulls me,
pulls me deeper down
Everytime I try to fly, it holds me,
holds me to the groud

It tells me I'm a freak,
drains me,
the monster inside of me
Freak
Save me
The enemy is inside of me

Would be easier to fight someone else
than the war I fight within
It's impossible to hide from yourself
Where do I begin?

Everytime I dare to dream it wakes me,
wakes me with a cry
Everytime I dare to love it hates me,
hates me 'til it dies

It tells me I'm a freak,
drains me,
the monster inside of me
Freak
Save me
The enemy is inside of me

Screaming, laughing, the voice is inside my head
Freak, silent echo inside my head

Love me, can you even love at all
show me, show me what I ought to know
Mirror, mirror mirror on the wall
tell me, tell me that I'm beautiful

It tells me I'm a freak,
drains me,
the monster inside of me

Freak
drains me
the monster inside of me
Freak
Save me
The enemy is inside of me

It tells me I'm a freak