Stillbirth - Alice Glass




The Experience: You don't own me anymore. I want to start again... Alice Glass starts a new career as a solo artist, and drops a first single about the pain of a toxic relationship, and the relief to finally be free...


Music video: Still waiting...

The Meaning of Stillbirth: Alice Glass releases a wave of toxic pent up emotion in Stillbirth. She just broke up with her band, Crystal Castles, and with her mentor and fellow singer Ethan Kath. But the song is about much more than professional differences. It's an intense and stomach-wrenching look at the inside of a toxic relationship. You thought you would bloom, but instead you're stillborn. You're hated and you learn to hate your abuser, and yourself. Every phrase in the song could be sung by both abuser and abused, except for the one plaintive cry in one of the brief lyrical lulls - now I know this, you don’t own me anymore, I want to start again. The song is obviously autobiographical - the cover art shows Alice handcuffed, staring at her reflection in a corroded mirror. She explained just how autobiographical in a written statement that accompanied the release of Stillbirth:

“Years ago I began the process of trying to remove myself from an abusive relationship that started when I was a teenager. Over the course of that relationship I was systematically cut off from anyone and everyone that I could truly be close to. I was talked down to, yelled at, locked into rooms and criticized daily about my abilities, my weight, my looks, my intelligence and almost every move I made. When I couldn’t take it anymore and I wanted to end the relationship I was threatened, then I was told I was loved, and the cycle would begin again.
I want young women and young men to understand that this kind of treatment of others can happen where it might be least expected. Even in environments that thrive on creativity and open-mindedness, that advocate artistic and counter-culture ideals. Sometimes people will use these things to camouflage themselves so that their abuse might go unnoticed. So that you wouldn’t think to consider it could be happening right in front of you.
The clarity I’ve gained since getting out of that situation has opened up my life in a way that I didn’t imagine was possible. Although some of the pain and anger still lingers, my life finally feels as though it has value and meaning. I speak out now hoping that I can encourage other young women and young men to affirm their value within their relationships or get out. Abuse isn’t always obvious and it doesn’t have to involve black eyes, blood and broken bones. Emotional and psychological abuse can be just as damaging, and it is extremely difficult to remove yourself from.

Those that have known me throughout my career might be surprised that someone who publicly gave the impression of being fearless and seemed as though they didn’t take shit from anyone could find themselves being severely mistreated and manipulated by someone they were close to. This person nearly stripped me of myself. And for years I felt as though they were waiting for my life to end.” All of the proceeds from Stillbirth will be destined to helping survivors of abusive relationships.

Ask yourself: Why so much hate and suffering?

LYRICS:

Waiting waiting waiting for you to die
Waiting waiting waiting to die
I’ve been waiting, waiting for you to die
Collecting tears from the weak
Do what you’re told is right

Someone to offer me a life they end

I want to feel like a wasted case
I want to feel like a waste of space
I want to start again
I want to start again
I want to start again
I want to start again

You need blood
I’ll starve you too
Overstuff the dead
Suffer lightning

Starve your tube
I don’t respect you
When you're living
I’ve been waiting, waiting for you do die

I want to feel like a wasted case
I want to feel like a waste of space
I want to start again
I want to start again
I want to start again
I want to start again

I’m not the way that you wanted (again)
I’m not the way that you wanted me
Moonlight blossoms
Now I know this
You don’t own me
Anymore

I want to start again
(a wasted case)
I want to start again
(a waste of space)
I want to start again

I want to start again
(a wasted case)
I want to start again
(a waste of space)
I want to start again


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